Orange Suck

By Mark on Thursday 6 April 2006 at 11:29

I don't use my mobile a huge amount, so I have a prepay SIM, which I probably only top up about once every couple of months.

I ran out of credit the other day while calling the AA (the one time in about a year I really needed a mobile - helloooo Murphy's Law), so I'm trying to top it up now.

I can do this through the web site, but apparently, I've forgotten my password (even though I've made a note of it in two separate places, and I haven't logged in for 6 months at least, let alone changed the password).

Ok, fair enough, maybe they've done something to the site and had to reset my password. And what's this?

“If you have forgotten your password you can reset it online.

You will need your mobile phone with you as you will need to enter a security code which will be sent to your phone by text message.

click here to reset a forgotten password online”

So, I enter my number on the 'forgotten password' page... and I get this:

“you cannot change your password online

For security purposes, it you wish to change your password please contact Orange Technical Support by dialing 439 from your Orange phone, or 07973 100439 from any other phone.

All calls to Orange Technical Support are charged at 50 pence per minute.”

Great. So to reset my password (in order to buy credit), I now have to phone a 50p/min helpline, which I can't do, because I haven't got any fucking credit.

Oh, but wait, there's a number you can phone from a landline!

“This number is permanently barred. Goodbye.”

I could carry on in this vein for a while, but suffice to say that I tried topping up with my debit card (that I'd previously registered with Orange) and it was declined (though there's no problem with my account), and then I tried to use my top-up card but it's expired.

So now I'm going to drive around the countryside trying to find a Lloyds cash machine, because apparently, they are the one mythical gateway to the nirvana that is having some credit on your phone so you can actually fucking use it.

6 comments:

On Thursday 6 April 2006 at 12:57, Rach said:

This reminds me of one of Racheal's Laws “Why get out of bed when sleeping is far more productive and far less stressful”. I know the feeling. Am having my own private war with bloody Npower at the moment. 6 months ago I get a letter from my gas provider telling me that they are sorry I'm leaving. I think “huh?". I call up to find NPower has advised that I have signed my supply over. After three months of legal tussles and a lot of shouting from me I get a cheque for £20 (woo hoo) and my old supplier back. Then, just this weekend, I get a letter from my supplier saying they are sorry I am leaving them.... Sigh. NPower have unsuprisingly become impossible to contact with queues of around 1 hour waiting on the phone and the one latest 'theme' song playing over and over and over.... and over again as you wait. I think this is a cunning ploy to drive their callers mad before they actually get to speak to some spotty student with an IQ of 12 answering NPower phones to earn beer money. I have now emailled them asking for a call.... I am still waiting. On the bright side I am not stuck miles from home with the vague possibility of being pounced by a Puma. ;O)

On Thursday 6 April 2006 at 17:01, Mark said:

They suck. Everyone sucks.

Except me. I'm perfect.

Also, you'll be pleased to know I survived my cashpoint-finding expedition without being savaged by any 'Beasts', although there was a very angry lady behind me in the queue who almost qualified.

On Friday 7 April 2006 at 10:59, Andy said:

Weird - Orange suck, but if you suck an orange you get tasty tasty in the mouth... Tasty tasty in the mouth; it's like a trip to Thailand or something.

I only just cancelled my orange contract because they're total shit, and i'm switching back to O2 pay as you go; if you get a sim from their website you can get an option whereby if you top up with a tenner or more then you get 300 free texts to be used within 30 days. After that you top up with another tenner and get another 300 free texts under the same conditions Smile Oh, and you can opt for 100 free any network minutes instead if you like.

Fuck it, once again I've started doing sales promo for things that won't make me any money whatsoever. It's like I become obsessed with informing my esteemed collegues of a potential BARGAIN.

The worst of it is I run my own mobile phone network and don't have a single subscriber. The amount of people I've steered towards O2 is impressive however. I live in a box now. My last meal was a peice of cardboard that I stole from a drunk kid who used to work in Mcdonalds.

It's SOOOOOO friday.

On Friday 7 April 2006 at 15:04, Mark said:

Cardboard? Good for the digestive system so I hear. Or maybe that was All-Bran... all much of a muchness (you've gotta love that saying).

I can't help thinking that somehow life was a lot easier before we all had mobiles.

Although that was partially because everyone was ALWAYS either in the Swingle or the Tamar, so if you couldn't get hold of someone you'd have a 50-50 chance of finding them at the first place you went to Smile

On Saturday 8 April 2006 at 09:53, Matt said:

That said, mobiles don't work in either of those places anyway, for some reason.

On Saturday 8 April 2006 at 18:45, Mark said:

Because we're too pissed to operate them?

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