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What we would have looked like in the 70's! 4 - 21:12 on 29 Sep by Mark
Five Questions I Constantly Ask Which I'm Not Sure I'll Ever Know The Answers To 14 - 14:34 on 24 Sep by Kate
I wanted a pet kitten... 6 - 19:45 on 17 Sep by Mark
One Sentence(ish) Album Reviews 4 5 - 13:00 on 09 Sep by Mark
In The News 17 - 13:13 on 19 Aug by Mark
New Fantasticos Web Site 9 - 16:03 on 08 Aug by Neo
Kelp! I need some body Kelp!! 5 - 14:34 on 14 Jul by Ol
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GTA IV vs Real Life
A photo comparison of GTA IV's Liberty City and the real New York. (by Bill)
Project Management in the NHS
By The Masked Avenger on Friday 7 March 2008 at 16:53
This week I was lucky enough to have the following explained to me by one of our Project Directors. I had heard some of the phrases before but never really understood what they mean't....
Project status
Tits up: The project has gone badly wrong but it is small enough to be abandoned.
Nipples North: The project has gone pear-shaped but it is too big and expensive for anyone to admit that it has gone tits up.
Tits down: The project is so big and expensive that not only is no-one admitting it has gone tits up, the project deliverables have been altered to make it look as though it is succeeding.
Tits out: The project is so massively big and expensive that it is confusing enough to be carved up into sub-projects enabling the project board to safely categorise each cheaper part as having gone individually tits up thereby masking the huge waste of resource that were ploughed into the original project.
Comments are now closed for this entry.
4 comments:
On Friday 7 March 2008 at 17:20, carly said:
just a lot of tits then!
On Sunday 9 March 2008 at 10:33, Mark B said:
It's reassuring to know that our health is in safe hands.
Not only that, but they now seem to be actively sending out NHS management to come round to people's houses and encourage them to drink vast quantities of vodka, perhaps to drum up some business for the renal unit (this is known as 'Project Wankered').
Funnily enough, that project seems to have so far been a massive success.
On Sunday 9 March 2008 at 14:34, Tom said:
“That really is fascinating!" typed Tom, showing considerable facial leakage.
On Sunday 9 March 2008 at 19:35, carly said:
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied,
“You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
“You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
“I am," replied the woman, “How did you know?"
“Well," answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, “You must be in Management."
“I am," replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?"
“Well," said the woman, “you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."